I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
