Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
