i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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