so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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