How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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