is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
