She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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