We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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