you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I love you. Go after that dick
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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