I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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