she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have fence marks all over my body
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize