I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
