Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
