thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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