Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
