Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
