I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize