We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
