I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
