quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
