i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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