i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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