u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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