Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
