I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
