white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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