Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
