Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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