Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
