NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize