Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
