I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
