it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
