It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
