so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
