If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
