Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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