What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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