Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
