Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
