Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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