Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I would fuck him just for his dog
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