Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
