what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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