I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
