a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize