Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize