Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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