We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need a burrito and a hug.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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