my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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