I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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