Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
