What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize