I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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