He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
