he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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