At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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