so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
