I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize