this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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