there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
