Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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