No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
