How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
