I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
