morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize