Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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