Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
