youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
