I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
